Mother Zen

While I was pregnant my husband Jack bought me Jacinta Tynan’s book Mother Zen. I don’t believe in parenting ‘how-to’ books, but Mother Zen became by bible.  Jacinta quickly became my working-mum role model, a post that I was lacking and one I was so desperate to fill. I don’t have many friends with children, let alone friends with children and careers. Jacinta showed me that it was possible to love motherhood while still having a career, ‘me’ time, a personal life and more.  Reading Mother Zen felt like I was having a conversation with a friend – finally, someone got me!

What stood out for me the most was Jacinta’s challenging of the “cry of mothers’ martyrdom” with the premise that motherhood could be easy. Almost everything I had read about motherhood told me how hard it was going to be and how I would have no time to shower, let alone work or do anything else I enjoyed pre-baby.

After Lilly was born I learnt very quickly that I loved being a mum. It didn’t bother me that for the first few weeks of my daughter’s life I stank of stale milk, never managed to eat a meal before it turned cold or that I was sleep deprived. Yes, motherhood is tiring, exhausting at times, but I love it.

I kept my happiness to myself, anxious to admit how much I loved motherhood, lest it change on me. I kept quiet when others complained about babies who fed ‘too’ often, woke frequently or who needed to be rocked to sleep.

I told one friend how happy I was. She replied ‘Don’t get used to it. It will get harder.’ I’m sure she meant to be supportive, and perhaps it will get harder. I don’t know what it is like to have a toddler or to have more then one child. But I do know that a positive mindset is crucial – why focus on the negatives when there are so many positives! I would have much preferred an ‘I’m pleased for you’ or a even cliché ‘enjoy every moment, it goes so fast!’

Jacinta was right, it is absolutely possible to balance motherhood, a career and a personal life. Yes, my life has changed. But I am still me. I feel like I am living a rich life. One that is so much more fulfilling than my life before I became a mum. I don’t think I have ever been so happy.


10 COMMENTS

  1. The loneliness of motherhood – Lucy's Locket | 18th Oct 16

    […] wrote here about how being a mum has made me the happiest I have ever been in my life.  This is true. On […]

  2. Petite Library | 10th Nov 16

    Absolutely! EVERY mum is different, some people crumble at the sheer mountain there is to climb, while other breeze up, we are challenged at different times, you found it hard, but you dealt with it differently…. good for you, having a positive outlook is a wonderful thing x #stayclassymama

    • Lucy's Locket | 10th Nov 16

      Thank you 🙂 You’re right, we are all challenged at different times

  3. Topfivemum | 12th Nov 16

    That book sounds like a must-read for any new mum. It’s true that mothers of older kids are quick to warn you about what’s to come. Oh just you wait until she’s walking. Oh he’s about to hit the terrible twos… it’s just so not necessary as everyone experiences each stage in their own way and in their own good time. But the truth is every ‘phase’ is wonderful and hard, just in different ways. And that’s what’s so good about motherhood: that you get to grow as your child grows. You are on his journey together and what an amazing adventure you’re on!

  4. Sarah Aslett @ Admissions Of A Working Mother | 13th Nov 16

    Love your positive outlook! I haven’t read this but I’ll take a look #stayclassymama

  5. Lady Nym | 17th Nov 16

    I think, much like anything else, some people naturally find parenting easier than others. Also, some babies/children are just much easier to care for. It’s never nice to have someone be so negative when you’re feeling good but I imagine there was an element of envy on your friend’s part.

    #bigpinklink

    • Lucy's Locket | 18th Nov 16

      I don’t think she was trying to be mean. I was probably feeling sensitive.

  6. Hannah G, The 'Ordinary' Mum | 19th Nov 16

    This is so lovely, I think sometimes in life we focus so much on the negatives so this post is really refreshing to read. I’m going to have to have a read of Mother Zen, it sounds fab. Thank you for sharing with #bigpinklink x

    • Lucy's Locket | 19th Nov 16

      Thank you! I really connected with the book. I’ve reread it a few times already. I will get around to writing a proper review on it soon. Let me know what you think if you read it x

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